Урок №34: Marketing Jokes
Шутки есть на все темы, в том числе и о маркетинге. В сегодняшнем уроке ММR предлагает вам ознакомиться с тремя маркетинговыми анекдотами на английском.
Retail
A retailer was dismayed (when a competitor selling the same type of product opened next-door to him, displaying a large sign proclaiming «Best Deals.»
Not long after that, he was horrified to find yet another competitor move in next door, on the other side if his store. It’s large sign was even more disturbing-«Lowest Prices.»
After his initial panic, and concern that he would be driven out of business, he looked for a way to turn the situation to his marketing advantage. Finally, an idea came to him. Next day, he proudly unveiled a new and huge sign over his front door. It read, «Main Entrance!»
The Pope and Marketing
A KFC marketing consultant gained an audience with the Pope, and offered him a million dollars if he would change «The Lord’s Prayer» from «give us this day our daily bread» to «give us this day our daily chicken.» The Pope refused the offer.
Two weeks later, the consultant offered the Pope 10 million dollars to change it from «give us this day our daily bread» to «give us this day our daily chicken» and again the Pope refused the generous offer.
Another week later, the consultant offered the Pope $20 million, and finally the Pope accepted.
The following day, the Pope briefed his staff.
«I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is, we have just received a check for $20 million. The bad news is, we lost the Wonder Bread account!»
Marketing Presentation
When a young marketer met his untimely end, he was informed that he had a choice about where he would spend his eternity: Heaven or Hell. He was allowed to visit both places, and then make his decision afterwards.
«I’ll see Heaven first,» said the salesman, and an angel led him through the gates on a private tour. Inside it was very peaceful and serene, and all the people there were playing harps and eating grapes. It looked very nice, but the salesman was not about to make a decision that could very well condemn him to so sedate an eternity.
«Can I see Hell now?» he asked. The angel pointed him to the elevator, and he went down to the Basement where he was greeted by one of Satan’s loyal followers. For the next half hour, the salesman was led through a tour of what appeared to be the best night clubs he’d ever seen. People were partying loudly, and having a, if you’ll pardon the expression, Hell of a time.
When the tour ended, he was sent back up where the angel asked him if he had reached a final decision.
«Yes, I have,» he replied. «As great as Heaven looks and all, I have to admit that Hell was more of my kind of place. I’ve decided to spend my eternity down there.»
The salesman was sent to hell, where he was immediately thrown into a cave and was chained to a wall, and he was subjected to various tortures. «When I came down here for the tour,» he yelled with anger and pain, «I was shown a whole bunch of bars and parties and other great stuff! What happened?!»
The devil replied, «Oh, that! That was just the Marketing Presentation».
Vocabulary
to dismay [dɪs’meɪ] — приводить в смятение
to unveil [ʌn’veɪl] — торжественно открыть
generous [‘ʤenərəs] — великодушній, щедрый
untimely end ‑ безвременная кончина
serene [sɪ’riːn] — спокойный, безмятежный
to condemn to sth [kən’dem] — обрекать на что-либо
sedate [sɪ’deɪt] — степенный. размеренный